Episode 71

Sandra interviews Jacquie, an ESTJ mom of ESTP and ESFP teenage boys about what it’s like as a parent who uses Efficient Thinking (Extraverted thinking) in the Myers-Briggs personality type model and how she navigates the type differences in her family.

Links and references:

Find your child’s Myers-Briggs type!
Cognitive Function Cheat Sheet
Myers-Briggs Basics

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Full show notes: 

For background information on the Efficient Thinking (Extraverted Thinking) function in parents, check out episode 70. 

If you’re wondering what a cognitive function is – listen to episode 39: Intro to Cognitive Functions or check out my cognitive function cheat sheet.

Sandra introduces Jacquie. She is an ESTJ mom of ESTP and ESFP teenage boys and she works as a nurse anesthetician. 

Jacquie talks about her experience as an ESTJ and how she navigates the type differences in her family:

• She has had experiences where she is intending to provide helpful feedback but ends up hurting the other person. She has found the advice to “start with heart” helpful
• She has learned a lot and become self-aware of her tendencies to come off as critical from feedback from her ESFP son
• She tries to use the “sandwich technique” of first giving a compliment, then the feedback, then another compliment. She has to be especially careful of this with her ESFP son
• She finds her sons, because they lead with Responsive Sensing (Extraverted Sensing) really don’t want to hear her long drawn-out explanations for things, and she does have tendency to over-explain
• She notices that men who lead with Efficient Thinking are respected for their to-the-point and fair style, whereas women who lead with this function are more likely to be perceived as the B word. 
• In line with her Preservation Sensing (Introverted Sensing) her hobby is creating scrapbooks for each year of her kids’ life. She’s also the person who saves all of her friends’ Christmas cards from past Christmases. 
• Her sons (who use Responsive Sensing) get stressed out by her constant discussions of planning for their future and she has found it’s better to focus on what they need to do right now
• The wisdom she has taken away from parenting her oldest who is now in college, is to hold less tightly and give more freedom

Leave a comment: Do you resonate with Jacquie’s experience?