Sandra interviews guest Melissa Harris, an INTJ, Enneagram Five parent of four teens.
Full show notes:
Sandra introduces Melissa Harris:
Melissa is a professional pianist, teacher, choreographer, and mother of four in Portland, OR. She began her in-depth study of the Myers-Briggs system several years ago after a piano student encouraged her to take an online test. She is also Personality Hacker’s Executive Profiling Coach and she actively teaches within Personality Hacker’s Profiler Training program. You can do a type consultation with her here.
Sandra gives a quick overview of the INTJ and Enneagram Five types:
INTJs value knowledge, competency and efficiency. They are introspective and visionary, making great leaders and empowerers of others. They use two main functions:
- Introverted Intuition – Perspectives
- See things in shades of gray – see multiple perspectives on everything
- Like new ways of doing things, visionary
- Focused on the big picture, ideas, meanings and connections
- Extraverted Thinking – Effectiveness
- Putting the outer world into order
- Using resources to make things run smoothly and efficiently
Enneagram Five
(From the Enneagram Institute Website)
Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.
Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable
Basic Desire: To be capable and competent
Melissa shares with us her experience as an INTJ Enneagram Five parent, including:
- Why she wanted to be a parent, including the joy she finds in helping people find what they’re good at
- The difficulty when the realities of parenting don’t line up with her ideas and plans of parenting
- How challenging parenting was for her when her children were babies as someone who does not much enjoy “chaos”
- Her ease at providing knowledge and enriching experiences for her kids
- The emotional connection with her babies in the beginning felt slower for her because of her focus on data and getting her parenting job done
- Her focus on building opportunities for connection with her children into her schedule now that they’re older
- How it’s easier to connect with her Thinking children, and takes more stretch from her to relate to her Feeling children, who don’t appreciate her problem solving attempts as much
- Her approach to discipline and her appreciation for the book Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline
- The importance to her of mutual respect between her and her children
- Her memory of one of her favorite family days where they did Disneyland in the most efficient way possible
Email Call-out: Are you an INTJ or Enneagram Five parent? Do you resonate with Melissa’s experience as a parent? Let us know!
familypersonalitiespod@gmail.com
Upcoming:
Intuition vs Sensing in Parents
Links and references:
Request a consult with Melissa Harris at Personality Hacker
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